Malfus or Malfus the Philosopher is a man obsessed with gaining immortality and eternal love from the Elixir of Life. He was once keeper of the Omnicon and the Eternity Pendant, but after gaining immortality and finding out it was a curse he threw it over the Edge of the World. He was married to Gwen for 90 years before using the Elixir of life, to which she refused, and they separated. At some point, he was married to Prudence, the Queen of the Crones, but after they divorced, he spent decades on the lamb to avoid paying her $30/month in alimony.
He now resides in the Cave of the Single Trap in the tallest mountain in the land, The Devil's Snowcone for self-atonement. He became incredibly lonely, but joy returned briefly to him when he was gifted a laughing horse for company by Sorcerio. He asked the horse to leave shortly after receiving it because he became sick of its laughing.
In "Steamland Confidential", he gives Laughing Horse to Bean and Elfo after their motorcycle crashes outside hi cave.
In "Fish Out of Water", when Bean and Mora travel to Steamland, they run into Malfus. He avoids suing them if they cook him a feast and do the dishes. He predicts their future, saying that "there will be some giggles along the way" (foreshadowing Bean meeting Giggles in "Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment"), he senses "freckles on [Bean's] ass" (foreshadowing Freckles trailing Bean and Zøg at the end of "I Hear Your Noggin, But You Can't Come In" and in "Who Shot Elfo?") and Bean must heed a warning "lest you kill the one you love" (foreshadowing Bean killing Mora in "The Battle of Falling Water").